Keeping The Balls In The Air

I’m not sure if we’ll ever be able to say that we are post-covid, but we’ve seen many things return to a more “normal” behavior. We can gather with friends and family, even go to events like concerts. This is no small deal and I think we are collectively breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. There is promise of vaccines, finally a reality, for children under age five. That took what seemed like forever, but yes, thank you!


Why does it still seem like we’re all still juggling just to keep our heads above water? I looked it up and of course the one definition is to “continuously toss into the air and catch a number of objects while handling the others, often for entertainment". Well, we get the image, but entertainment it’s not! However, the other definition calls it - "cope with by adroitly balancing", using the example of “she works full time, juggling her career with raising children". That hits the nail on the head! Believe me, we know that Dads, even grandparents do plenty of juggling, but recent news stories continue to point out the many roles that moms have been required to take on, first during covid, but even now. Data also tells us most often it’s mom who defers working to stay home with a young child, and of course a large part of the early childhood workforce is moms…

We continue to hear from mothers who have young children, and are either working, or would like to return to work, but for a number of reasons are not able to find that balance. This is a nation-wide, systemic problem. There are simply not good supports in place for a family to raise children and work to support those children at the same time. This not only hurts the family, but it’s also bad news for communities and economic recovery. We’re big fans of supporting all the choices that moms and dads make about how their children are cared for, but if it’s their choice to return to work and they just can’t, we risk losing a great deal.

Certainly, the cost of living overall makes it difficult, nearly impossible for some people, to live and work in our community. The biggest drivers for that cost of living in our valley is housing, followed closely by childcare. Both barriers to families are complicated and many organizations are working to meet the needs. In both cases, there is so little availability and that is compounded by the high cost. As a community, we all must decide if we are willing to lose young families, lose skilled employees/employers, and we need to think about what that community would look like. We aren’t going to solve this issue in this newsletter, but we do feel the need to draw attention to how stressed many families are. You have been juggling for longer than covid, we think covid just shined a light on these issues, and we heard more people speaking out. There is a role for every single person to play – advocate for funding, let elected officials know that the struggle is real, tell your story. Then ask for help, your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and of course the professionals.
 
We’re talking about the wellbeing of families, businesses, current workforce, children’s foundational education and care, and our future workforce. Let’s help keep those balls in the air, we can’t afford to drop even one.

Shirley

MID-SUMMER FAMILY TIME

 As a child and family therapist, and Founder of FOCUSEDKIDS, I often ask kids “If you had a magic wand and could change anything about your family, what would it be?  The kids’ most common answer is “We’d have pizza night and a movie together every week.” I’ve been asking that question for almost 30 years and the answer doesn’t change much. To me,

IT REFLECTS A STRONG NEED FOR ROUTINE FAMILY CONNECTION
IN A SIMPLE AND PLAYFUL WAY.

 
It’s mid-summer, a time when perhaps family routines have settled in…perhaps not!  Nevertheless, the return to school is just around the corner.  How can families/caregivers use the rest of the summer break to put a little “connection routine” into their daily lives?  And what are the vital components that give kids and parents the contact they need but still have fun, get rest, and have some autonomy in their days, including kid-free time for parents?
 
Parents first: YOU ARE IN CHARGE!  That means you can set a structure for the family that includes time for yourself. 

IF YOU AREN’T TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF,
YOU WON’T BE MUCH GOOD TO ANYONE ELSE!

 
Given the complexity of the world these days parenting may be the most challenging job of all, no matter what walk of life you are from.  And…our neurosystems (brain and body) are shot from all of the stress, requiring intentional breaks in order to right the system.

“YOU CAN’T STOP THE WAVES, BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO SURF.”
Jon Kabat Zinn

 
I love this quote because waves are eternal just like life challenges. Learning to surf is not easy, just like working through life’s difficulties, but it is possible. Putting time and practice into each day to care for yourself is essential if you want the energy and brain power to surf.

 
START EACH DAY…

 
with a moment of stillness just paying attention to right now without judgement.  Notice how you are breathing, how your body is feeling, what your mood is, what you are sensing. Are you feeling optimistic, content, tired, achey, anxious, grateful?  Remember…just notice…don’t judge.  All feelings are normal, and sometimes just naming them, tames them.  As you begin to do this practice 1 minute at the beginning of your day and expanding to a couple of times a day, you may soon find yourself practicing several times!  And…
 
THIS PRACTICE can help reduce anxiety, body fat, chronic medical condition symptoms, depression relapse, dementia, loneliness, negative sentiments, and stress levels. Mindfulness exercises can also improve attention span, sleep, positivity, and overall peace of mind.